I’m sorry guys, that i overload the timeline. I know this isn’t the prettiest collage but i tried.
It’s still so hard to understand and i try, i really do. I wish i could just still talk to you, ask you why and just know that you’re still here with me. I can wish for many things but wishes won’t bring you back. I still miss you every day for the last 14 years. I hope that you know that. There are so many times i feel helpless and i struggle with myself so much and i guess those periods i remind mom and grandpa and grandma of you. And i’m so sorry for that. People keep telling me that i look like you, especially lately. That makes me proud but it also makes me realize it hurts grandpa so much. I’m scared he isn’t able to look at me some times because when he does, he sees you in me. I try to keep my shit together but it’s getting so hard and now that school’s starting again i’m scared i’ll lose myself again. I think the pain will never fade, i think i’ll only miss you more by time. Sometimes when i’m really sad i cry for you, i need your help, i have no one else lately, and i wish to see you even if it would just be a hallucination, but i never do. It’s ok tho, because, i know you’re there, i can feel it.
I miss you, i hope you’re ok. Don’t forget me. 🌹